What Nintendo Didn't Tell You
by Tsuna 4 Cn4s
Summary: That first day, when Chrom reached out and offered her his hand, Robin knew her life was about to be changed forever... what she didn't know was how bizarre that change was to be.
1. Robin

**Author's Note: This story is based partly on the commentary my brother, _Lord Pikachu_, created as I stumbled through my first play-through of _Awakening_. Some ideas are his, others are my sister's, _Pokemon67_, a few are of my own invention. The characters are all going to be out of character, except for Robin, though even she shall be more snappish than usual.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own _Fire Emblem: Awakening_.**

**This chapter is of my own creation.**

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**• {Robin} •**

_ Welcome to my personal journal, in which I have secretly been recording my own private thoughts about the men and women who make up the Ylissean army, well-reknown as the Shepherds. My name is Robin and I suppose, before diving into to this mess of personalities and incredulous tales, I should properly introduce myself._

_ I am an amnesic, with basically no clue of what the past twenty or so years of my life were like before taking my place as tactician of the Shepherds. I was found sometime ago, lying unconscious in a field outside of a small town in the country of Ylisse, by the royal siblings Chrom and Lissa. Despite the fact that I was covered with dirt, exhausted and not an expert fighter, they offered me a place in their company of knights, trusting me enough to become their Head Tactician (granted, they had no other tacticians working for them, so perhaps the title wasn't all that grand)._

_ I accepted their gracious offer, determined to make myself useful to my new friends and not just a burden whom they took in out of pity. I quickly grew to love the life of travel and adventure, despite the moments of terror and anxiety that followed every battle, as well as all of the men and women who made up the band of Shepherds. Though, there are somethings that are a bit... different about them. Things one would not expect to find in heroes "destined" to save the world. To sum it up as nicely as possible: I suspect they are really a gang of escaped mental health patients!_

_ This entry will have to be enough, for today. Chrom needs me to sit in at our War Council. I shall return tomorrow for a report on one of my friends._

_ Signed: Robin, _Tactician of the Shepherds


	2. Chrom

**Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to ****_Fire Emblem: Awakening._**

**If you are having trouble following the flow of this story: Italics are Robin's speech inside her journal, past tense means events she is referring to to make her point, and present tense are events that interrupt her writing.**

**This chapter is of my brother, ****_Lord Pikachu's_****, creation.**

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**• {Chrom} •**

_I am back for my first entry about my friends. I feel more than a little guilty; this is basically ranting about them behind their backs, right? I mean, what if one of them finds this book? ...Note to self: put lock on journal. Besides, writing my frustration down on paper will help me to work through it, rather than letting my emotions explode all over their faces. Yes, this is the right thing to do._

_So, I suppose I will start with Chrom, as he is the prince and leader of our company. Sigh, Chrom - Sole Prince of Ylisse, Captain of the Shepherds, safe, strong, trusting. And did I neglect to mention how handsome he is? Chrom has been my friend since I first woke up. Even when I told him I was an amnesic, who couldn't even remember my own name, yet knew his, he did not withhold his trust and kindness. I tried to think of Chrom merely as a friend, but I eventually had to realize that I was falling in love. I suppose any girl can imagine my relief and utter joy when I found out that he felt the same._

_I will always love my Chrom and respect him as a man, as my commander and as my husband. I will always try my best to be a proper wife for him and not let the quirks I discovered during the early part of our courtship affect our present relationship. It is a little hard, though, considering how... unforgettable those quirks were._

_His possessiveness, for example._

"This is my GIRLFRIEND!" Chrom screamed loudly, gesturing wildly at Robin for the sake of his enemies. He gave them each a wide, half-crazed grin, causing most of the Plegians to take a cautious step back.

Robin slapped her forehead, groaning.

_And his choice of motivation._

"I shall slay you... For my GIRLFRIEND!" Chrom raised Falchion in a dramatic manner, not making any advance towards the bored looking sorcerer.

"You are allowing this man to court you?" Validar asked, scoffing. "Believe me, you can do better."

"Th-that's not the point!" Robin shouted, her cheeks turning bright red in embarrassment. "Just go and die already!"

_And perhaps his pride._

"Ugh... No, I have been wounded." Chrom sunk weakly to his knees, clutching his side. Gangrel cackled maniacally, slowly taking a step towards his prey. He raised his sword, preparing to strike.

"Wait!" Chrom gasped. He reached out a shaking fist and grabbed onto the Mad King's pant leg. "You can't kill me... Not in front of my girlfriend."

"...What?" Gangrel finally asked, after a long pause.

"My girlfriend." Chrom said impatiently, nodding his head towards Robin. She was busy assisting Sumia several yards behind them. "She's back there. I'll look stupid and weak if you kill me in front of her."

"You can not be serious..."

"I'll give you the Fire Emblem! Here, it's right on my arm! Just tell everyone that you stole it from me when I was er... No, better yet, you stole it from Frederick. What are butlers for other than to take the heat for things, am I right?"

Gangrel turned to face the screen. "And they say I'M mad."

_Yes, Chrom was an... excitable man to be in love with. But we worked past that, and now he is quite calm and dependable_

"Chrom! What on earth are you doing!" I shout, dropping my pen in surprise.

My husband is standing outside my third-story window, waving at me. I march over to him and repeat my question.

"Gaius and Vaike said I was getting to be a boring noble," He explains, pointing to the ground below him. Two blond and orange blobs are in the courtyard, flat on their backs in the grass. Their laughter can be heard even from my room. "I became worried that you might be thinking the same, so I scaled the wall to your sitting room." He continues.

"I can see that!" I snap, a sick feeling settling in my stomach as I notice just how far the earth is from my husband. "Are you insane?"

"No, just in love." He kisses my cheek. "See you for supper!" And climbs out of sight.

I turn slowly away from the window and collapse back into my chair with a heavy sigh.

_Forget it, journal; my husband is an immature moron._

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**Ending Note: Updates shall be three times a week, Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays. Thank you for your support! **


	3. Anna

**Author's Note: I have re-written the previous chapters, so some of my first readers may wish to re-read them. Thank you so much for reading this story!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to ****_Fire Emblem: Awakening._**

**This chapter is of my own invention.**

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**• {Anna} •**

_Hello again, journal. After finishing my previous entry about Chrom a few days ago, I felt so childish and stupid that I almost destroyed you with my Fire tome. You are only alive today because I realized that questions might be asked if smoke was seen coming out of the queen's sitting room. In any case, I am surprised to find myself crawling back to this immature method of overcoming my frustration, though it is all I can do to keep myself from killing Anna._

_You would not believe what that woman is capable of! And I had thought I had seen the worst of her personality during the war..._

"I pity the man who stands between Flavia and a full coffer." Basilio rumbled, smirking.

"Full coffer?" Anna, who had been busy healing an injured Virion, perked her head up at the khan's words. "As in... money?"

Chrom and I shook our heads furiously, trying to warn Basilio not to continue. But the man didn't even seem to notice. "Of course, girl, what did you think I meant?"

"Free money?"

"Huh?"

"Whose coffer is it?" Anna repeated impatiently.

"Well, it was Gangrel's, but I don't suppose he'll be needing it-"

"Cha-_ching!"_ Anna hopped to her feet and flew in the direction Flavia had gone, leaving a confused Basilio and a crying Virion behind.

"W-wait, my lady! With out your healing presence, how shall my shoulder ever recover from such a grievous injury?"

"Get away from my gold, woman!" Chrom and I cringed as the East Khan's angry shouts reached us in the courtyard. The few soldiers and Shepherds who still roamed about looked up in surprise.

"Sorry, sister! That gem has Anna's name written ALL OVER IT!"

_Yes, that had been a bloody battle; the two women sustained more injuries in the ten minutes it took for Chrom and Frederick to seal the vault than in the hours long confrontation with Gangrel. While this is a good example of why I chose Anna to be the subject of my newest entry, it does not even compare with what she did today._

"Looks like Anna has slid right back into her position as merchant." I whispered to Chrom and Frederick, smiling slightly. We were taking a calm walk through Ylisstol, when we had unintentionally stumbled upon our friend selling her products to a large crowd in the square.

Frederick nodded. "It seems we were using her for the wrong purposes, for she handles prices much better than swords." He paused, cringing in sympathy as a foolish young man walked past us with a Mend staff he had purchased for double its worth. "The Ylissean people shall grow very poor if she stays much longer."

"Why on earth would anyone pay so much for a simple staff?" I couldn't help wondering. "Especially one that had quite plainly been used."

"I think I can answer that..." Chrom growled suddenly, his fists shaking with surpressed rage. "Look," He pointed to Anna's stall.

"No matter how far nor wide you travel, you won't ever find Royal Ylissean merchandise at prices such as these! Are you in need of something chic to cover up that hole in the wall? Why not hang this royal baby garment over it! Look, it even has a stain of the princess' spit! Or how about the kerchief? Prince Chrom himself used it to blow his nose at dinner only two days ago!"

"That's it!" Chrom marched through the crowd, Frederick quickly following suit.

"Hey! What's the big idea?" Anna demanded. Neither male answered as they each grabbed hold of her arms.

"EVERYTHING IS FIFTY PERCENT OFF IF YOU COMPLETE YOUR PURCHASE IN THE NEXT THIRTY SECONDS!" The woman screamed as she was dragged away, kicking and biting the prince and his knight. "SOMEONE, HELP! CALL THE POLICE! CALL THE PEGASUS KNIGHTS! PROTECT MY MERCHANDISE!"

_To make a long, infuriating story short, we sat Anna down and had a nice long talk with her; I think she understands and we won't have a repeat of that situation. That's something to be grateful for. Now, thanks to you, journal, and my nice bath, I'm quite calm. I think it's time to_

"Wait a minute, where are my clothes?" I exclaim, noticing that the dress I had laid out was suddenly gone. "I know I brought it in here, so where could it have-"

And then I noticed the open door. "ANNA!"


	4. Frederick

**Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to ****_Fire Emblem: Awakening._**

**This chapter is of my brother, ****_Lord Pikachu's_****, creation.**

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**• {Frederick} •**

_Dear journal, a sheep wandered into the castle, today. Why is that worth mentioning? Because it just happened to waltz into a room where Frederick was. Why is that a problem? You know, maybe I should just start my narrative from the beginning and stop asking myself pointless questions._

_Freddy - that is, Frederick the Wary - is a never tiring knight, so strong, so loyal, so good. Lady Emmeryn could not have chosen a more perfect man as royal bodyguard for her younger siblings. I have not once, in the two years I have known him, heard Frederick complain or shirk his duties; he seems to take delight in every task, both those assigned by his lord and those he invents for himself. Frederick is a kind friend, a patient teacher, a great cook and a humble student. But I suppose his best quality would have to be his way of putting the needs and safety of Lissa and Chrom above all else, no matter what. Nothing could deter him from keeping them safe, whether he had to surrender his own life or even if he had to destroy an entire army single-handedly, with only his bare hands._

_In fact, Freddy Bear would probably like that._

Screams of agony and fear shook the battlefield, as the Grimleal fled from the Ylissean host. The richly adorned men were tripping over each other in their wild haste for escape, some even weeping and begging for mercy.

**"FREDERICK SMASH!"** Frederick shouted in a loud, gravelly voice. The knight and his horse swept madly across the desert plain, the former waving his lance about and prodding his opponents, all the while repeating over and over again the same, creepy battle cry.

**"Frede... rick... SMASH!"**

The Shepherds all stood in a cluster behind a pile of boulders, trying to stay cool in the face of the glaring sun. I seemed to be the only one who noticed the bloody scene taking place only a few yards away.

"Um, isn't this a bit harsh?" I asked, wincing as Frederick lifted one man to hurl at another.

"Nah!" Nowi, our newest recruit, exclaimed, a large grin on her young face. There was an evil glint in her eyes as she said, "It's time for some pay back! Hehehe..."

"Yay!" Lissa cheered, jumping up and down, waving the red and white banners that had mysteriously materialized in her hands. "Go Frederick go! Go Frederick go!"

"Use your head!" Chrom and Gaius said together, shouting advice to the knight as if they were spectators at a wrestling match. "Forget about your lance; USE YOUR HEAD!"

**"ARRRRG!"** Frederick leapt off of his horse, landing on his feet with a crash. The Shepherds and Grimleal stumbled around for a moment; did the ground just quaver?

One poor man squealed in horror as the Ylissean knight came charging at him, his mouth foaming and eyes black slits. "Gods save us!"

Frederick caught the man by his shoulders and proceeded to spin him wildly about his head. The Shepherds watched, their own eyes spinning with him, until Gregor fell dizzily to the floor. Finally, Frederick stopped torturing the man and held him up in front of himself. With a grunt of amusement (or was that hunger?) he cracked his skull hard against the Grimleal. The later slumped to the floor, muttering something about cheese.

"YEAH!" The Ylisseans all cheered, some exchanging money while others broke into a sort of victory dance.

"Am I the only normal one here?" I asked, loudly. No one even answer.

_Yes, Frederick is a brave one; well, except when it comes to sheep._

"You were AMAZING in that battle today, Frederick!" Sumia exclaimed, a shy smile on her face. The knight - who seemed once again to be a perfectly rational human being - simply thanked her, an embarrassed blush lightly painting his cheeks.

"It is very kind of you to say so, Sumia, though I hardly deserve the praise. My time was a quarter of a minute worse than last time."

"Aw, don't feel bad, Freddy!" Lissa patted his arm consolingly. "You will break your record, one day."

_Oh please!_ I rolled my eyes, sighing.

"What's the matter, Girlfriend?" Chrom asked me, sounding concerned. "Are you hungry?"

"What? Oh ah... Yes, yes actually. Do you think we could perhaps hunt for something fresh to eat?"

"Sounds like a good plan, considering we haven't had meat for almost a week. And I think we all are in need of a break from the sun." We shared a smile, before Chrom turned away and shouted, "Hey, everyone! My GIRLFRIEND suggests we take a rest and look for something to eat!" I resisted the urge to strangle him.

"Alright, then!" Cordelia, who had been marching just behind us, dropped her bag and water canteens on the ground. She impatiently brushed at her long hair as she mentioned, "I saw a large herd of sheep grazing at an oasis about an hour back. I didn't say anything, because it looked like private property. Perhaps if we can discover who owns them, we may buy-"

"Sheep?" Frederick interrupted suddenly, all color gone from his face.

"Yes! Several large herds, which I'm sure Sumia and I can quickly reach on our Pegasi."

"There are... sheep nearby?"

"Yes, Frederick, how many times must I repeat-" Cordelia paused, as if finally noticing how unwell the knight appeared. "Frederick, are you alright? You are as white as wool!"

"Wool?"

"Yes, wool! The coat on a sheep!"

"Sheep?"

"Yes, sheep!"

"SHEEP!" Frederick began to scream and claw at his face, trembling and crying all at the same time. Cordelia stumbled backwards, shocked.

"F-Frederick?" I tried to regain my composer, shaking my head to clear the daze. "What's wrong? Are you injured?"

"No! Just-just keep those... THINGS away from me!"

"What things?"

"Those four legged monsters with coats of curly white thorns and blacks holes for eyes, with hooves that could crack any bone without the slightest effort!" Frederick curled up into a tight ball on the grass, rocking himself gently back and forth.

"You mean... sheep?" Cordelia repeated for about the fifth time.

"WOULD YOU STOP SPEAKING THEIR ACCURSED NAME!" A faint cry echoed across the desert dunes. "Oh gods! They're coming to eat us! That sound is the deathtoll for all brunettes! Come, Lon'qu! We must run for our liiiiiives!"

"...O-kay..." I watched silently as Frederick left running and screaming off into the sunset, pulling a very angry looking Feroxi swordsman behind him. "Yup, I'm definitely the only normal one here."

_Yes, that's our Frederick; loyal knight, cruel foe... And terrified of sheep._

"How are you doing, Freddy?" I ask, pausing in my writing to glance down at the man curled up under my desk.

"N-not well." He says, slowly. "Did they c-catch the brute, yet?"

"I don't think so, but Chrom promised to tell us as soon as the 'you-know-what' is behind bars."

"Oh good... good good good... good..."

_Just so you know, journal, I am rolling my eyes right now._

_Signed by Robin, the Normal One_

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**Ending Note: I'm not so confident in this chapter, but it was a hilarious when my brother did the voices...**

**By the way, if you guys have ideas/requests/opinions, please let me know! Ideas for characters or personalities would be particularly welcomed, because my brother only did a few Shepherds.**

**Also, I have this pole on my profile for a story I shall eventually publish; if you haven't voted, yet, could you please stop by and check it out? **


	5. Ricken

**Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to ****_Fire Emblem: Awakening._**

**This chapter is of my own creation.**

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**• {Ricken} •**

_There are a few things that need to be conveyed before I begin this next entry; first of all, this is not a complaint about Ricken, merely a short exert of my personal experiences with him. Second of all, the only reason I am again writing in you, journal, is because I left the castle in such a rush, I hadn't realised I was holding you. And at this moment, you are the only object that may alleviate my boredom. I could doodle, but my people always come out looking more like bunnies than anything else._

_The reason I wouldn't want you to think I am complaining about Ricken is because I truly count him among my closest friends. He is such a sweet, eager young man, with a lot of potential for future growth. I feel so sorry for him when the older Shepherds mock his height; can no one see how much it pains the poor boy? I would not be at all surprised if it is proved that their lack of consideration for Ricken's feelings is the direct cause of his... episodes._

"If we want to reach Plegia before the end of the month, we have to travel as swiftly as possible." My fingers traced an invisible route on the map. Frederick, Chrom and Lissa bent further over the table to see, their anxiety polluting the air and making it hard to breath. I bit my lip, wishing there was some good or atleast relatively hopeful news to share, but there was none.

"Even if we were to discard all extra baggage, our arrival will be cutting very close to the day of the execution." I continued, cautiously. "Perhaps if we send a small party ahead as distraction-"

"Stop, evildoers, in the name of justice!" A sudden shout interrupted my plans. I spun about on my heel, towards the doorway of Chrom's tent. Standing there, in nothing but his small clothes, boots and a cape, was Ricken.

"Ew, Ricken! Have some decency!" Lissa squealed, covering her eyes. "I mean, I understand the want to keep cool, but geez, put some pants on!"

"Do not try to detract me, courter of discord!" The mage scoffed, spitting into the dust at the princess' feet. Chrom's face immediately clouded over with rage.

"Ricken, I am already in a foul mood; you better have an excellent reason for this behavior or I shall send you _limping_ back to Ylisse!"

"Hah! Your threats bother no one so brave as I, RICKEN THE RIGHTEOUS!" He drew a short stick from his belt and pointed it at us. "Now, have at thee!"

Chrom's hand flew instinctively to Falchion's hilt, but Frederick stayed him with a quick glance. "You must pardon his insults, milord, for Ricken is not in his right mind."

"Anyone can see that!" The prince snapped.

"Yes, but you have never seen him in one of his turns. It seems that, when he was training with the Shepherds, if he was put under heavy stress, he would-"

"GASP! MY SWORD OF HEROIC QUALITIES HAS BURST!" Ricken stared, seemingly horror stricken, at his broken stick, which had snapped in two the moment he tried to slap it against Frederick's armor clad knee. "I MUST HAVE VENGEANCE!"

"Go bananas?" Lissa suggested.

"If you wish to put it in the most vulgar of terms possible, then yes. I would guess that the exalt's capture and threatened execution have driven him to believing we are his enemies."

"CAPTAIN RIGHTEOUS DEMANDS SATISFACTION!"

"What should we do?" Chrom asked, sighing.

"YOU CAN NOT STOP THE GOOD FROM PREVAILING! I SHALL DESTROY YOU, WHATEVER THE COST!"

"I propose we simply let it pass."

I stared down at the boy who was busy trying to eat my shoe. "Um... How long does that usually take?"

_That was my first encounter with Ricken's abnormal twist of personality. Over the rest of our campaign, I would witness many more such episodes._

"RICKEN THE RIGHTEOUS MUST HAVE VENGEANCE!" Ricken shouted at Sumia for serving him green beans.

"CAPTAIN RIGHTEOUS SHALL NOT BE TOLD WHAT TO DO!" Ricken screamed at Frederick for telling him it was past his bedtime.

"CAPTAIN RIGHTEOUS IS THE HERO! NOT THIS INFIDEL!" Ricken pouted loudly, insulted that Gangrel had dared to address Chrom before him.

_This last one did not end well, as the mage was cooked into a Ricken s'more by the Mad King's Levin Sword. Since then, his episodes have been more frequent and completely non-stressed related._

"HOW DARE YOU SNIFF THE GREAT RICKEN THE RIGHTEOUS' CAPE!"

I look up from my journal to see Ricken shouting mercilessly at a little girl who had wandered too close for the boy's comfort. Before I can move, a great shadow overshadows the sun as the huge, hulking figure of the child's big brother towers over my small friend.

"G-good afternoon." Ricken whispers, scrambling to hid behind my thin body.

_Oh sure, he's smart enough to use me as his shield!_

"Um, y-you must excuse him," I say shakily to the giant looming over my head. "He's not in his... right... mind?"

**Two weeks later...**

_Good news, journal; I regained the use of my right hand. Also, I have been excused from all future babysitting jobs regarding Captain Righteous._

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**Ending Note: I hope this one was okay. Also, I'm sorry for missing an update last week and I should apologize in advance, as I may very well miss another one or two both this weekend as well as the next. I shall be very busy with school and babysitting, but things should calm down soon.**

**Thank you all for your support! I'm so glad you are enjoying my fanfic! **


	6. Lissa

**Disclaimer: I do not own ****_Fire Emblem: Awakening._**

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**• {Lissa} •**

_It would seem, journal, that I have some news to share - unpleasant, yes, but news all the same. After only two years of peace, Ylisse has once again been dragged into war. The Halidom, as well as all other kingdoms on this continent, have been threatened by a foreign power, the grand, wealthy Valmnese Empire, recently united by the ruthless dictator, Walhart. They have a superior navy and soldiers who destroy without thought nor mercy; thus, Chrom has decided the Shepherds must take the offensive and attack the unstable empire and pray for its collapse - perhaps it is our only chance of success._

_The troops received this information with what can only be described as a brave front. Sigh, I can't say that I blame them. It's not fair that any of us should be thrown into another bloody mess! We have had our share of battle, all we want now is to settle down and be with our families. According to Valm, that is simply too much to ask._

_Speaking of families, I guess I might as well report on Lissa who, despite being one of the last of the single Shepherds, is taking the impeding battle the worst. And I thought it would be unbearable for those of my friends who have married in the past two years, as they now have the lives of not only themselves and friends to fear for, but also their beloved spouse (so far we have had but one confrontation with the Valmnese, yet I can already predict by my own overwhelmed emotions that this war shall be far harder than the last). I tried to talk to Lissa and reassure her in some respects, but that's when things got strange..._

"Come on, Lissa, why are you acting like this?" I asked quietly, rubbing soothing circles on the younger girl's back. Her body twisted and convulsed under my hands, as great sobs shook her delicate frame. "I have never known you to be frightened, before. In fact, I always considered you one of our bravest soldiers, an especially commendable quality, considering you are a healer."

"Don't patronize me, Robin," Lissa's quavering voice echoed somewhere beneath the covers of her bedsheets. "I know I'm acting like a two year old throwing a temper tantrum, but I can't help it. You wouldn't understand, because you've got Chrom and Maribelle's got her husband and Gaius has his wife. Sniff, even that warthog Sully got someone to marry her!"

I decided not to comment on that fatal adjective Lissa had attached to our violent friend's name, but dove straight into the heart of the problem.

"You don't want to go to war because you haven't married, yet?"

"Of course! For all we know, this year could be my last and I'll die never having had the experience of being a normal, loving wife."

"Oh, Lissa, that won't happen - Chrom and I won't let that happen!"

"Well what if there's some foreign sickness over in that country and it kills all single guys? Then, even if I do survive, there won't be any male Shepherds left for me."

"What are the chances of that?"

"I read it in a book, once." She maturely stuck her tongue out at me, so that I had to resist the urge to get up and leave her to her mourning. I sighed heavily.

"Well then, why not make the most of things? Live the next few weeks as if they are your last. Do whatever you what, so that you can one day die peacefully, content with knowingly you have had the experience."

Lissa stared at me, her bright eyes wide with awe and perhaps a little admiration. Then her usual grin slipped into place and she jumped up from her bed. "You're right, Robin! There's no way I'm sitting around here when there's a ton of stuff I could be having fun with! I'm off! I shall walk out that door and enjoy my life! Thanks a lot!"

She was gone in an instant. "You're welcome, Lissa. You go enjoy life while I prepare an army for war..." I glared at the rumbled covers which the girl had been hiding under. I glanced around the room and after making sure I was alone, ducked under and took a turn wallowing in self-pity.

_If you're smart, journal, then you would realize that giving Lissa royal permission to do whatever she pleased is, in hindsight, the stupidest thing I have ever done..._

_I didn't see Lissa for the whole two weeks we were in Regina Ferox. It wasn't until we were leaving for Plegia (I'll tell you about it in the next entry) that Chrom and I finally caught sight of her; she was sort of hard to miss, what with the two wagons full of jewels and dresses and her hobbling about on crutches._

"Lissa!" Chrom screamed, his mouth falling open as he took in the massive carts filled to the brim with courtly goods. His hands flailed for a few moments, before catching a string of oaths and questions. "What happened?"

"Hm? What do you mean?" The princess asked, partially concealed as she sat atop her mountain of loot. "Oh, you mean my new things? Yeah, I decided to raid the shops and get everything I ever saw and wanted at some point in my life. This isn't everything, of course, just my favorites. The rest I sent home to Ylisstol."

Chrom paled while I toyed with the image of our royal guard being suffocated under a pile of Lissa's dresses. The prince quickly recovered. "Where did you get the gold for all of this stuff?"

"Robin gave it to me!" I stiffened. "She said I should make the most of my last days by living life to the fullest, whatever the cost! So I borrowed a couple million gold from the treasury."

"She's lying!" I shouted wildly. "She's paraphrasing my words and twisting them to perform at her bidding!"

"What... treasury?" Chrom asked slowly.

"Ours, silly!"

My husband fell backwards, stumbling dangerously. I thought he might faint, but he shook the surprise and horror off and strengthened himself with rage. Thankfully, he focused his new found energy on his sister, rather than his poor, fragile wife who spent fourteen hours in labor, trying to give birth to his child so he better not yell- oh, they're talking again.

"Lissa," Is that steam coming out of his ears? "Get down here so I can properly punish you and your banker together." Oh no he isn't! I'm out of here- wait what?!

"What on earth happened to you?" The question left both our mouths at once as Lissa emerged from the top of the pile covered with nicks and bandages. She had a crutch under her left arm, her right in a cast and a helmet of cloth circling her forehead. She looked like a child in a mummy costume, who had partially unwrapped themselves after trick-or-treating.

"What did you do? Get stuck under your shopping bags?" Chrom demanded, thoroughly exasperated with his womenfolk. Lissa snorted.

"Of course not! Why would I carry those things when I have a whole army of muscular guys around me? Speaking of which, how is Vaike's wrist?" Chrom's eyes narrowed even further. "Er, never mind. Anyway, I sprang my ankle when I skydived off a griffon (the pack worked just fine, I just need more practice at landing), I got a concussion while taking fencing lessons with Frederick, broke my arm while cooking (that's a long story) and got all these cuts when looking for a pet!"

"A... pet...?" I repeated slowly.

"Yeah, turns out I'm not an animal person."

_Lissa smiled, Chrom finally passed out and I ran and hid from my vengeful husband. That's where I am now, journal, paying Anna one hundred gold an hour to hide beneath all the extra armor pieces in our supply wagons (wait a minute, why do I have to pay her... What is she doing in here?!). I'll tell you when I get out._

**_"ROBIN!"_**

_... IF I get out..._

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**Ending Note: Sorry about the delayed update; seriously, though, it wasn't my fault! The site just won't work properly on my KindleFire. It's so unpredictable... Anyway, I want to thank ****_verifiaman _****for inspiring me to write this chapter about our fair princess Lissa. Sadly, I couldn't fit in her falling in love with Basilio (I didn't want Chrom to have a heart-attack). I hope I didn't disappoint!**

**Also, about the time skip: I changed my mind, I really don't want to do that. So I erased Cordelia's chapter and inserted Lissa's. Eventually, I shall repost our pessimistic Pegasus Knight's chapter when it comes up in the timeline. I know most of you can't leave another review for Chapter 6, but how about a quick PM to tell me if it's okay...?**


	7. Vaike

**Disclaimer: I do not own _Fire Emblem: Awakening._**

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**• {Vaike} •**

_Today, Journal, I am hiding in one of our supply wagons - no, not still, Chrom forgave me for the Lissa incident. Or, he did when I agreed not to collect any paychecks for the next few years. I'm actually desperate to avoid Vaike, who has been stalking me for the past week! You see, Vaike used to pride himself on being the "Absolute King of Checkers" and admittedly, he is very good at the game, but I still managed to beat him - twice - last Saturday. It was a blow too hard for his pride to take..._

Vaike and I sat squinting over the small checker board, trying to see our pieces in the deepening twilight. We had been marching towards Plegia all day and had finally stopped to set up camp for the night. Both of us had volunteered for an early shift of the night watch, which we would have to begin in about an hour. Rather than catching an insufficient rest, the Vaike and I had decided to simply stay up until our watch was over. That was when the shirtless axeman suggested a game of checkers.

I was bored, with little else to do to pass the time, so I foolishly agreed to his proposal. He had the game out and set up in a heartbeat, that foolish grin of his covering his face. He obviously was looking forward to victoring over the Shepherd's "genius" tactician.

The game went swiftly at first, with Vaike sweeping many of my pieces off the board within five minutes. I was growing frustrated, since I can't stand losing to anyone, and the man's gloating wasn't helping my mood.

"Aw, it's okay, Robin! The game can be a bit complicated for beginners.

"Oooh... What? Me? No, I didn't say anything. Though, now that you mention it, that move wasn't exactly the best- Oh look! Three in a row!

"I guess I'm the one thing you just can't conquer, Rob. Heh, maybe you should've started out with an easier opponent - like Nowi. Nowi is about your speed."

I clenched my teeth, forcing back my poison coated words. Everyone knew Nowi ate the pieces whenever someone tried to play a board game with her.

"How about we make this more interesting? If I win, you have to buy me a steak and a silver axe in the next town. If you win - which ain't likely - you get a kiss from the Vaike."

Just as I was about ready to flip the table on the ass, my eyes fell upon a new strategy. I grinned. "Yes, 'Teach', perhaps you're right. I shouldn't have gotten involved in this game, when you are so obviously out of my league." I picked up one of my wooden chips and set it down with a heavy smack.

Vaike nodded his head, though he seemed a bit nervous. Perhaps my grin was more malicious looking than I thought. "Yep... I just hope my winning won't destroy all your self confidence." One of his four kings hopped over my last one.

A fanfare went off inside my head. He had taken the bait. "Oh, I'm sure there's NO CHANCE OF THAT!" In an instant, one of my uncrowned black chips was flying across the board, killing Vaike's army right and left. It finally landed at the edge of his board, ready to be crowned, while I scooped up three of his pieces and two of his kings back into the bag.

Vaike's jaw dropped. I smiled innocently. "So, wanna play again?"

The man growled. "You bet I do!"

_ Okay, I paraphrased that last part, but I prefer not using those words when I don't have to. Anyway, Vaike and I did play again and this time, now that I had experience with his offensive strategy, I was able to counter and declare victory in record time._

"I win!" I shouted, jumping up from my chair, a ridiculous smile I'm sure contorting my face. "I won! I did it! I'm the winner! I am the champion of Checkers! I am the champion of Checkers!"

I sang and danced about a bit, beyond thrilled with myself, when I suddenly heard a sniffle. I turned back to the table to find Vaike, with his head buried in his hands, weeping inconsolably over the board. My happy spirit died there, strangled by guilt.

"Um, Vaike?" I asked gently.

He continued to cry.

"Vaike? It's just a game."

His wailing grew louder.

"We could chalk up my victory to Beginner's Luck?"

He screamed.

"The Vaike can't lose to somethin' so lame as luuuuck!"

He fell back to weeping and I quietly slipped away.

_ Don't look at me that way, Journal! I feel bad enough as it is. But, thankfully, Vaike is not one to hold a grudge; at least not in the normal sense of the word. But he does not forget, and never, ever forgives..._

"Hiya, Robby!" A gruff voice greeted me from behind. Before I could turn to see who had entered my tent, a muscular arm had been thrown over my shoulder and nearly suffocated me with its grip and stench.

"V-Vaike!" I gurgled, trying to breath. "I'm sorry I beat you in Checkers! Please don't strangle me!"

"Huh? Oh, sorry 'bout that. Forgot you were so fragile." He gave me a friendly push that nearly sent me sprawling to the floor. "You know you don't have ta apologize for beating me, yesterday. You won, fair and square."

I stared at him, slightly shocked. "Wow, really? Well, thanks, Vaike. You know, you're being surprisingly mature about this-"

"I was just having a bad day, is all. How about we go another round so we can REALLY decide who the champion is?"

"Sorry, I have to help Chrom and Frederick plan today's march. Bye, Vaike."

"Hey, Robin! Come back!"

** - Later, that Afternoon -**

"Hey, Robbie! How about a quick game of checkers?" Vaike asked causally, plopping the board right on top of my book.

I glared up at him, pointing towards the door of my tent. "No, Vaike, now get out!"

** - The Next Morning -**

"Good morning, Robin!" Vaike almost shouted in my ear, instantly scaring me awake. "How 'bout a round o'checkers?"

"Not on your life! Now get out of here!" The blond man slinked sadly away.

Beside me, Chrom sighed and turned in his sleep. "Why is Vaike in our tent?"

** - Later that Same Morning -**

_Ugh, finally, Vaike isn't around to annoy me. Sigh, I'm thirsty. I'll just get a quickly drink._ I pulled my mug from the shelf and raised the lid of the storage barrel, looking forward to a cool glass of water.

"'Ello, Robin!" Vaike greeted, his head suddenly emerging from the waves of drinking water. "How about you and me play a nice game of checkers?"

I screamed and tried to beat him to death with the barrel lid.

_ Believe it or not, Journal, that was the high point of my week. Things just went downhill from there._

"Hello, Robin!" Vaike shouted, climbing out of a bush on the side of the road. "Wanna play Checkers?"

"Yo, Rob!" Vaike waved wildly at me, trying to catch my attention from across the dining hall. "YOU WANT TO PLAY WITH ME?"

"Heeey, looky here's, it's my best bud, Robbie! I was just sittin' here with good ol'Donnel, going a few rounds of Checkers. Looks fun, don't it? Don't you wish YOU COULD PLAY A ROUND? HMMMMM?"

"Hi, Robin!" Vaike exclaimed, his head bursting through the table's wooden surface. "Fancy meeting you in here! But since you are here, how about a play of Checkers?"

** "ROBIN! ROBBIE! ROBERTA! ROBINO! ROBSTER!_ CHECKERS!"_**

_ Finally, I couldn't take it anymore! I smacked Vaike to the ground and fled before he could recover his wits. That's why I'm hiding; don't I have every reason to? Anyway, I haven't heard him screaming my name for the past hour, so I guess it's safe to venture out - I'm suddenly starving. I haven't been able to eat anything in the past two days lest I have a checker board shoved in my face!_

_ Thanks for letting me vent, Journal. Glad to have you around, at least._

_ Signed Robin: _Death to Checkers!

I sigh as I softly close the leather cover. Cautiously, I crawl out from behind the boxes of fruit and vegetables, scanning my surrounds with intense concentration. My ears are strained for the slightest sound, my legs ready to run at a second's notice. Yet I hear nothing; all is silent.

Finally, I am able to breath easily. I walk over to the small locked chest where I keep my journal and a few other personal effects. I take the key out of my pocket and slip it into the lock.

"Hi, Robin! Want to play a round of Checkers? I have the game all set up." Vaike exclaims, showing me where he had set up the board at the bottom of my trunk.

I had tumbled backwards from the shock and horror of the situation and am now sitting flat on my back in the dirt. I push myself up and hiss through clenched teeth, "No, I don't want to play Checkers with you! I NEVER WANT TO EVEN HEAR THE WORD CHECKERS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE! Now please explain to me why the heck you are in my personal chest and HOW ON EARTH YOU GOT IN THERE WHEN IT WAS LOCKED?!"

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**Ending Note: I really hope I didn't disappoint anyone with this update! Also, I want to thank those of you who took the time to PM me a review for the last chapter; you guys are wonderful!**

**This might be the only update for this weekend, since I have something else I want to fix up and publish, though there should be two next week. I'm not sure how I will go about the next chapter, but the one after should be great (though difficult).**

**I want to welcome _StarfallNinetailsGirl_ to our _What Nintendo Didn't Tell You_ cult! We have t-shirts! Well, not really, but let's pretend we do (mine has Robin pulling her hair out while Chrom screams "GIRLFRIEND!" at her). **


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